Since time was an issue for today's workshop, I wanted to use this as an option to continue discussion.
In terms of my poem, the second to last selection that started as "higher points roll off his tongue", I wanted to explain the meaning of it since I was not able to do so in class. For those that gave their viewpoint on the meaning, you were on the right track. If you look at the fifth stanza, last line this the only place where "him" has been capitalized. This is making reference to God. The other "him"s refer to the character that I will try to explain.
The poem is a story a small town preacher that originates in a small church. The preacher begins to understand that he has a higher calling outside of this church. He begins to travel from small town to small town to spread his message. At this time the only money he takes for himself is the money that is necessary (for gas, food, lodging, etc...). Over the course of his touring the preacher begins to grow in popularity and makes a name for himself. He can be viewed similar to the televangelists that fill large arenas or sell numerous souvenirs. There are now enough people in the crowd to provide the preacher with more financial opportunties. The preacher begins to use the excess money on material items for himself, and not to help the needy or the less-fortunate. The preacher has gone against the teachings of Christianity and the purpose that brought him into religion. Greed has taken over the small town preacher that is now more focused on excess than his purpose. The last line in the poem means that God did not let his son die on Earth so that people can make money off of his son's name.
I enjoyed hearing the poems and I thank everyone for the comments in class today. I look forward to reading the poems that will come over time.
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3 comments:
Thanks so much for posting this--for future workshops I'll try to make sure that people who went at the end at previous workshops go first so that over the course of the semester everyone will receive equal critiquing time.
Yes, I really enjoyed the poems as well. I have a oxymoronic (hate the word: love what it means...like bittersweet, military intelligence, or icy-hot) relationship to high register language. I love to find new words. I love to know all sorts of words...but I also love the quote from George Orwell when writing to a friend (my paraphrase): "It would have been shorter if I had more time."
And I LOVE explication...I love complexities...as well as simplicities...and I REALLY really love it when they work together. I love Emily Dickinson because I can write a 5 page paper on one of her 5 line poems...but what I REALLY love is that to my mind they make sense and give pleasure even without dealing with the footnotes. My Poem #3 has a lot of allusions to a feminist pantheon of dead writers. It is far from a great work...but what I am attempting is to create an enjoyment through concrete images that is satisfying even IF the reader doesn't know Anne Sexton or Sylvia Plath. The version I submitted was my 4th draft...but I think that many more would be needed...if I finish it at all. To me it was an exercise in the play between lay and expert knowing....I also like Shakespearean sonnets and classical haiku because their form constrains them...and forces them to be either god awful or priceless gems. Needless to say, I doubt if I'll be submitting in either format!..that said, I always find trying to write them helpful in helping me tighten all of my writing...so when Ms Bell checks my notebook...a whole lot of groaning may be expected. Did I mention that my last creative writing class was 30 years ago? I have lots of updating to do.
One thing that should be taken note of for the next workshop is that when you reveal your anonymity before the critique begins, you tend to get less constructive comments.
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